A Tantric Approach to Sex

Sex and sexual rituals do not feature in many (the majority!) of the Tantras that we know of. And in those where it does feature, it tends not to feature very heavily. But what is clear, is that Tantra as a philosophy does not avoid the reality of sex and, in some cases, actively incorporates it into tantric practice. So, how should we approach sex from a tantric perspective?

There appears to be three general approaches to sex that practitioners could adopt, either in isolation or in combination. The first of these general approaches (and probably the most difficult to achieve) would be “meditative sex”.

Within Tantra any activity can be tantric, providing we approach it with a “divine temperament”, which generally means a meditative contemplation of non-duality. For an activity to be tantric we must banish the illusion of separation and distinction and accept the universal divinity that envelops and imbues the material world. In other words, we must banish our ego and our egotistical sense of self and individuality, because it is the ego that re-enforces the illusion of separateness. This is the kind of intercourse that features within the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra, and whilst it sounds deceptively simple, learning to engage in any activity (let alone sexual intercourse) without resorting to egotistical mental constructs is a difficult task requiring both concentration and practice.

The second tantric approach to sex could probably be termed “yogic sex”. In various tantras, including the Kularnava Tantra, there is a suggestion that the “divine temperament” required for meditative sex can be achieved by awakening your Kundalini. Kundalini refers to a reservoir of subtle energy that sits dormant within us all but, once activated, it can awaken our energy centres and enliven our entire subtle body. On the “Tantra” page on this site I use the analogy of individuals being like cups filled with water, sitting on the bottom of a lake; a Kundalini awakening would be the equivalent of shaking the cup to feel the water moving around inside you. Once you become aware of your own subtle body you become increasingly aware of the web of subtle energy that binds the entire physical world, making it far easier to shed your egotistical constructs and see through the illusion of separation. There are various yogic techniques, employing the body’s natural sensuality, that can be used to awaken your Kundalini energy. This energy very often (and perhaps unsurprisingly given its unifying nature) manifests itself as sexual arousal. Consequently, practitioners often choose to employ sexual yogic techniques to activate or enhance their Kundalini experience.

Finally, the Tantras also offer “ritualised sex” as a legitimate approach to intercourse. This is perhaps best represented in the Yoni Tantra. Here, female genitalia are recognised as the physical manifestation of the feminine principle of divine energy that must unite with the masculine principle of divine consciousness for the universe to manifest. As such, the female genitalia and the fluids produced during intercourse become the focus of worship. There are numerous ways that the vagina – or Yoni – can be worshiped, ranging from the offering of flowers and other ritualised substances, to smearing it with semen, absorbing some of its energy through touch, drinking sexual and menstrual fluids directly from the “cup” of the vagina, or intercourse (usually with the male lying beneath the female). There are very little restrictions placed on the practitioner within the Yoni Tantra, and whilst there is mention of the “divine temperament” the emphasis is clearly on worship and deification of the Yoni as the manifestation of divine feminine energy. The point here is not to objectify or lust after the vagina for sexual gratification; rather, it is to understand that the Yoni is the physical manifestation of the divine energy that fills and surrounds us all, imbuing us with dynamism and creativity, and to honour and revere women and their Yoni’s.

For practitioners interested in incorporating sex into their tantric practice, perhaps these three approaches should be considered in their reverse order. Yoni worship could be seen as a point of entry into the world of tantric sex; contemplating the Yoni as divine energy and sharing in its energy through intercourse could be used as a basis for developing the required “divine temperament”. Having begun to grasp the universality of divine energy throughout the material world, practitioners may seek to activate their own subtle energy through sexual yoga. Finally, practitioners could bring this heightened awareness into all their daily activities, including, of course, sexual intercourse.

One final point worth noting: many of the Tantras advocated secluded outdoor locations as being the ideal places to practice tantric sex – such as riverbanks or mountain meadows – which would of course be a great way to add an eco-tantric twist to your tantric sexual practice.