On Celibacy

To many modern westerners Tantra is synonymous with sex. But Tantra, as with many other spiritual traditions, still attracts some forms of asceticism, including celibacy. Indeed, it could be argued that most practitioners of traditional Tantra were (and still are) celibate. This is because some of the most successful and enduring branches of tantra can be found within the monastic tradition of Buddhism, where vows of celibacy are common.

On initial inspection this may seem contradictory – that chaste monks can pursue a teaching replete with sexual aphorisms, images and rituals. However, because many of the Tantras follow a non-dualist philosophy, there actually is no contradiction at all. Everything that exists or can be experienced externally also exists and can be experienced internally. So, the apparent gender dualism of male and female also exists internally – we are all spiritually androgenous. And the union experienced during sexual intercourse can also be experienced internally, with the unification of our own masculine and feminine energies; something that can be achieved through a variety of yogic techniques. Indeed, at its intellectual height, Tantric masters were teaching that the internalisation of external rituals was the most superior form of tantric yoga.

However, there may also be practical reasons for practicing celibacy. Within Tantra there is a philosophy that the universe exists on three levels simultaneously: the gross or corporeal level; the subtle; and the supreme or ultimate level. In general terms, the purpose of Tantra is to incorporate the corporeal into a deliberate practice that enables you to transcend into the subtle and ultimately the supreme levels, with the subtle level being distinguished by subtle energy experiences and the supreme level being an enlightened experience of non-duality.

This is particularly complicated when utilising sexual techniques, because sex ordinarily involves sexual gratification, a renewed sense of intimacy and the re-enforcement of relationships. These are firmly within the corporeal realm and should form no part of Tantric sex – but what if one partner is practiced in Tantric techniques and is able to utilise sexual yoga to enhance their subtle and supreme experiences, but the other is less experienced (or not experienced at all) and enters into sexual intercourse with the sole aim of sharing sexual gratification or generating intimacy?

Whilst there is clear evidence of historic female practitioners most of the texts seem to be aimed at men, and it is likely that in medieval India where Tantra flourished there were more male Tantrikas than females. Some of the texts (in particular some of the Buddhist texts) therefore recommend the use of consorts during sexual practices, this way, the male practitioners could engage in sexual yoga without forming any kind of relational attachments. But this seems to sit uncomfortably with the overriding themes of feminine empowerment found in most tantric texts, and so it can be imagined that celibacy and the internalisation of Tantric sexual rituals was the preferred option for many.

This is an issue that may be equally relevant to modern practitioners. Whilst neo-Tantra workshops and retreats abound, many commercialising the practice of “sacred sexuality” and promising more satisfying and intimate relationships, there are relatively few practitioners who seek to utilise sexual intercourse to experience the subtle and supreme levels of existence. Consequently, the chances of two consensual and sufficiently adept Tantrikas being able to engage in Tantric sex are relatively slim. For many then, internalisation may be the most practical method of employing Tantric sexual rituals to enhance their subtle body experience.

Does this mean that eco-tantric practitioners should be celibate? I suppose it’s a matter of personal choice. Most Tantras make no mention of sexual intercourse – and therefore cast no judgement upon it. Of course, if you don’t want to engage in sexual intercourse that risks re-affirming the corporeal level of existence, you could still practice sexual yoga techniques whenever you have sex, even if your partner isn’t into Tantra. Somehow though it feels wrong, to me at least, to privately practice Tantric sexual yoga if my partner is hoping to strengthen our relationship or increase intimacy – values that run contrary to Tantric principles of non-attachment.

From this perspective, celibacy is not an asceticism, it is a choice. We do not have to utilise every Tantric technique to gain access to the subtle and the supreme, but we should, wherever possible, seek to transform our corporeal experiences into Tantric ones.

So, despite the stereotype, you can be celibate and still consider yourself a Tantrika!